To the magic...

DECEMBER ART by Genevieve Nolet Copyrights 2011

2011-12-20T14:27:00.005-05:00

Forgiveness

To see the picture in larger format just click your mouse over the art...World Traveller
Inflection

Birthright to Ecstacy

An Openning

The Way of Transformation

2011-12-12T10:00:00.002-05:00

The man who, being really on the Way, falls upon hard times in the world will not, as a consequence, turn to that friend who offers him refuge and comfort and encourages his old self to survive. Rather, he will seek out someone who will faithfully and inexorably help him to risk himself, so that he may endure the suffering and pass courageously through it, thus making of it a "raft that leads to the far shore."
Only to the extent that man exposes himself over and over again to annihilation, can that which is indestructible arise within him. In this lies the dignity of daring. Thus, the aim of (spiritual) practice is not to develop an attitude which allows a man to acquire a state of harmony and peace wherein nothing can ever trouble him. On the contrary, practice should teach him to let himself be assaulted, perturbed, moved, insulted, broken and battered - that is to say, it should enable him to dare to let go his futile hankering after harmony, surcease from pain, and a comfortable life in order that he may discover, in doing battle with the forces that oppose him, that which awaits him beyond the world of opposites.
The first necessity is that we should have the courage to face life, and to encounter all that is most perilous in the world. When this is possible, meditation itself becomes the means by which we accept and welcome the demons which arise from the unconscious, a process very different from the practice of concentration on some object as a protection against such forces.
Only if we venture repeatedly through zones of annihilation can our contact with Divine Being, which is beyond annihilation, become firm and stable. The more a man learns whole-heartedly to onfront the world that threatens him with isolation, the more are the depths of the Ground of Being revealed and the possibilities of New Life and Becoming opened.

The Way of Transformation by Karlfried Gras von Durkheim

Quote of the day!

2011-12-11T15:43:00.000-05:00

‎"We are in charge of our own dreams...
We have more power than it seems"
MLE

The Murder Mystery

2011-12-11T00:00:00.001-05:00

From Left to right

Natalia, Casey, Sarah, Ruth, Chelsea, Genevieve, Kat, Rebekka and Chris.

I am so blessed to know you all Beautiful -Spirited-Beings and to have in my life, such wonderful Loved-Ones, Yeah?

With Love and Light

Genevieve

Funeral of already dead things

2011-12-09T08:59:00.004-05:00

And so in dance, authentic Genevieve -
Free spirited, honest, blissful me through movements,
requires which of what I have cut off from my own bones,
(dislocated and folder over into disconnected rags, shoved into a hidden closet, in a deserted house, covered by walls with crooked picture frames and plaster),
and asks of me
to unleash the ragged dolls and skeletons,
to breathe in thick sticky dust choking lungs,
to fill my heart with the black tar of shame that I knew would have killed me ...

The layers are thick,
suffocating like quicksand
and sharp as glass.

The idea to enter these all-encompassing-murky- waters
seems slightly masochistic...
yet I know now that this road points me swirling ahead
back "home",
into this body that can no longer hold all of those years of loneliness and isolation
from the love that penetrates deep and deeper
into the dark cavernous swells of my magnificent soul.

In saving myself I lost myself.
In rescuing my own terrified child
I imprisoned all her beauty and her magic along with her breath.

And so now I step,
in this moment, and this moment, and this moment
into the empty-hallow-spaces
between my femur and tibia where my knee used to be
and into the echo which resonates profound and steady;
somewhere between my sternum and left scapula.

I walk the edge of my own edges willing and aware that at any point now I could tip
(throat forward and open) into this body that forgot how to be mine.

If the decision to reclaim my birthright to ecstasy
brings forth a funeral of already dead things
and old ghosts
then let it be ( It shall be so),
for my desire to love deeply
and live in my own frame
with enough freedom to sway
in and out and through
is much more appealing to me now.

(C)Genevieve Nolet 2011)

The third choice

2011-12-08T12:29:00.002-05:00

It fascinates me that when I think there are only two options, and choose a third option I thought impossible... a world of possibilities cracks open and a profound alignment of my internal and external life shifts me into surrender. All my numb edges extend into a world that is receptive, tender and kind. I am blessed and scared and inspired!

(C) Genevieve Nolet 2011

Jenna

2011-12-04T01:04:00.003-05:00

As I walk by the corner of Dundas and Sterling,

about to enter the path,

I am overwhelmed by the memory of a woman I never knew...

My heart sinks onto itself.

I stop moving for a little while.

I look at her photograph amidts the candles and prayers and tibetan flags and breathe in the life I was given, as I remind myself that all I have is this moment.

And in this moment, as the sweet stillness of percussions reverberates in my bones, the moon glimpsing between ephemeral clouds of this sugary December breeze, I connect with all the love that has touched my flesh over these last 38 years.

My friends, my lovers, my clan, my soul-brothers and sisters on the road to surrender...

I am grateful for you.

For it is you who fill my birthright to freedom,

You who fill my frame with light,

You who give my heart rhythm to beat so eloquently

And you who connect me to my dancing feet and hips.

Rest in peace Jenna.

Thank you for the gift of yourself.

In love and light

Genevieve

Inflection

2011-12-03T17:23:00.003-05:00

Infused by a love so deep,
I travel my days now, with an unfathomable intrinsic sense of wholeness.
I feel this profound interconnectedness, initiated from my own breath
And now permeating through everything, everyone I touch.
It reaches (hand first) into the dark abyss of creation and tugs at my sleeves
Pulling me into the thriving inflection of synchronicity

I see you ~
And feel my own ~

Impulses from Divine simplicity
Extend from feet to hands
Through womb and chest,
Outward ,
Caressing the soft edges of my frame,
Outward
And out and out

Unwavering and reliable.

(c) Genevieve Nolet 2011

world traveller

2011-12-03T08:27:00.000-05:00

Good morning world~

May I stay connected to my feet and my knees and my hips and my spine and my shoulders and my elbows and my hands and my chest and my neck and my head and my eyes and my lips.... all day while my spirit travels the world and yours~

please pass

2011-11-29T17:35:00.003-05:00

May this anxiety
that chocks and crushes my chest
pass through swiftly
May I remember
that I am bigger than it
May I remember
that i have survived it
many times before

May I find an openening
In this middle
Within this fear
that has no name
...
just an address
my chest

(C) Genevieve Nolet 2011

The tender Wound Cast

2011-11-28T21:47:00.003-05:00

My four lovelies, gorgeous, talented, spirited women.
Love you deeply~

Forgiveness

2011-11-28T17:18:00.004-05:00

Pulled across deep chasms of sleep
By a strong, invisible filament of truth
I return to self, longing for sustainability and empowered by the notion of doing no harm.
Every cell of my beautiful, lively, scared, wise being,
Suddenly begins to breathe like ocean waves caressing psyche,
Embodying heart;
The lines, stretching out farther, deeper into the wisdom of her knowing.
I breathe in her light,
With every breath,
As my diaphragm falls and recovers, and meets years of contractions,
That yearn to de-fragment self towards forgiveness and humility.

“Where I am is what I need” (D. H.)

The Tender Wound... The aftermath...

2011-11-27T20:10:00.002-05:00

The impact of our exploration (s), dialogue(s) and energetic exchange(s) is (are) settling into my bones this morning...
There are still some signs of trapped energy in my body, especially along the entire anterior portion of my spine from throat to tail bone... some old stories I still tell myself... Some tears in throat, unspoken desires, and aspirations to mend...
But I recognize them and begin to hold them with as much tenderness as I am capable of. There is loneliness that appears, unexpectedly and that's ok too.I have also come to know, that this process and the connection with my dancers, especially the work Ruth and I were able to dive into has filled parts of my life for the last months with the great gift of ourselves and have been a real source of joy, community and inspiration for me.

Towards the end of the choreographic process I began to share about my fear to move or to go to "this place"... And last night: about this worry of me shutting down the process all together, now that this term is ending...

I wonder this morning, if I ever was going to dare to choreograph or dance again, but I also know that this type of all- encompassing fear that almost paralyzes me, is the precise fear I need to face and in part want to face.

I also know that I can only go to those depths when I am filled with acceptance and self-love or at least the desire to seek it within myself but also when the world around me can be kind and present in some ways... There needs be a sense of safety I guess... Or perhaps that is also an illusion... I have found this sense of safety at times over the last few months, however ephemeral...

I know that I have traveled my whole life in an attempt to release this bound coil of energy around my spine and even more around my heart, and it is in dance that this coil is most apparent, most painful too, most real... Dance is the one thing that connects me most to myself and the one thing I resist most. Funny how that is... Maybe that is why I was attracted to dance in the first place... And why I keep coming back to it. Dance is a key to my deepest, truest self that scares me so!

Oh, I don't feel very brave at all! At least during the creating of our dance, I was making attempts to stay connected to all this, even if I was not breaking through as fully as I wished for... Now I am not sure... No rehearsals or dance projects in the works and this sense that I could abandon self once again along the road side.

Though my bigger self knows I won't and won't let me, which is good... Thank god for that graceful demanding Genevieve! ;) Perhaps I need to seek a dance practice that can allow me to engage and deepen my connection to myself and my moving body outside of the dance class... Without judgment... Or with acknowledgment of judgment... However terrifying that may be. I wonder what that practice might be...

This transition from there- to here- to somewhere else is jarring... I shall let it!

I am acutely filled with gratitude for having encountered over the last 2 months perceptive, intuitive, sensing, kind heart; sharing of insights, the questions that were asked, the truth that was spoken, the deep desire to heal and live fully, the gift of really seeing and of being reminded me of my own light and gifts! You are beautiful beings I am so blessed to know!

Once again, my creative journey mirrored my human journey. The Tender Wound was a true exercise in trust and in community; a dance process, at times without limbs to rely on but only my deep desire to communicate honestly through movement that existed in the empty spaces between everything. I believe that in the end, the movements we created truly reflected these values. In the end, I succeeded to share through movements in all its encompassing layers, the journey I sought out from the first week of class.

In retrospect, even when I felt completely blinded, lost, inadequate or far away from my purpose, I was actually navigating the turbulent waters of my original intentions in order to clarify quality, purpose and message.

the work is gifting back the legacy of exploration and transformations, and for this I am grateful.
And scared....

With profound tenderness and humility
Genevieve Nolet 2011

and so the mending continues

2011-11-27T18:09:00.001-05:00

In facing my truth, once again,
I am reminded to dive deeper into my own life
and seek the freedom my body yearns for...
Beautiful arms, hands, legs, feet, torso, head:
I promise to gently drive you to find peace betwee flesh, bone, heart and spirit.

This journey has lead me here all along.
Thank you to the special people who remind me of this
as they alow the truest of light to infuse their own life and graze their body electric.
Fear takes too much room! ...
and so the mending continues,
deeper and deeper into the magical moonlit forests of the soul.

(C) Genevieve Nolet

How Honest are we with ourselves? (ME Radio Show)

2011-10-14T09:29:00.002-04:00

How Honest are we with ourselves?
Exploring how to be completely honest with ourselves~

I believe that self-honesty is something we cultivate.
It is at times a very difficult task; it can also be a painful and a scary proposition...
It is though one of the most rewarding and self-loving action one can choose to make.

I used to be so afraid of my own thoughts, my own truth, my own motives... what people thought of me (still do sometimes), afraid to be found out and exposed, afraid of not being "good enough"...

But the practice of being truly honest first with myself and then with the rest of the world yielded and continues to yield such ease, self-acceptance, freedom and joy that it gives me the necessary bravery to continue to cultivate this ability, even if difficult at times.

I believe we get better at this with practice. We become more restful and it allows for transformation... If I don't like the truth of what I see in me, once I acknowledge it without shame, I can change it. It requires humility from me and a belief that no matter how ugly or beautiful this truth about myself is, I am still loveable. No better or worse than anyone else...

On this continuum of becoming honest with self there are still times that I chose to not be honest, to deny the truth that pulls at me and as I struggle through this time I try to forgive myself and return to the letting go of outcomes that often keeps me cut off from truth.

Thanks for asking these questions... The world gets to heal some more.
And I really needed to be reminded of it today!!!

Love and Light
Genevieve

The chinese Fortune Teller

2011-09-05T17:04:00.004-04:00

and the universe speaks to us through fortune cookies!
I love it!!!
I beleive it
or maybe I am slightly insane
or both
Who cares!
World... Get ready! Here we come!

Time of Transformation

2011-09-05T10:54:00.000-04:00

Fall crashed into my morning coffee and announced its annual arrival of transformation and magic- infused darkened evening to bathe my artistic frame and stroke inspiration with momentum and inspiration. I feel the cool air as my morning espresso chills quicker than yesterday and my mind clears just a little more than usual.

Fall has always been a time of transformation, and in times like these, where I might have lost my way on the winding road towards self, I can always count on this season to pull me back in and wake my soul from brittle sunburns and dull humidity into the delicate practice of shedding old skins and into the recovery of acute awareness of the changing wind.

I embark on this journey once again, with new hopes, new skills and new aspirations and with a strong knowing that everything, at this point in my life, and all along before now, is perfectly true, meaningful and purposeful.

(c) Genevieve Nolet 2011

Innate Perfection

2011-08-31T12:02:00.002-04:00

I Float about in the middle of my life with good intentions and strong mantras to keep me real, yet, I can’t help but feeling as if I am standing a few feet away from myself.

The layers of fear, like the onion, reach deep to the center of my core. Each day I find myself at the cutting board peeling a layer or two, and continue to be astounded by what I find here. It is after all a good exercise - It keeps me honest!

I know that I am meant to do great things... Perhaps I am already doing/being great...
Imagine if I were in the middle of greatness and was missing it... Perhaps WE ALL are - losing our magic as we aim and reach for great things, when who we are RIGHT NOW is perfect and magnificent.

So today, may we embrace our magic - our magnificence -in right now as we settle into the beauty of our innate perfection.

Genevieve Nolet

A Quote by joseph Campbell

2011-08-27T12:53:00.000-04:00

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to havethe life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come." - from A Joseph Campbell Companion: Reflections on the Art of Living, p.18

The Power of Words- The Spiral of Healing (Do What You Love Part 2)

2011-08-25T12:12:00.001-04:00

I wrote about Melissa’s words she shared with the audience in Cohasset on August 27th 2009 and shared how they affected me and propelled me deeper into the heart of my life. It has now been 2 years since these words have imprinted my psyche. Something occurred to me the other day and I wanted to share it here with you fellow Melissa Fans because I believe that words and shared experiences are very powerful, and I hope to participate in this incredible dialogue Melissa engages us in year after year.

When asking myself in 2009 “What is it that I love to do?” it led me back to dance. I am now in my second-last year of my Bachelor of Fine Arts in Dance at York University and I am truly enjoying my life. I realized a few weeks ago that for the last 2 years, every day, I have been asking myself this same question and have been continuing to honour the answer to this question by dancing and also by altering parts of my life that no longer serve a purpose to my spirit.

A little while ago on Melissa’s radio show she talked about the importance of her realization that she was not truly successful in her life until she truly believed there was enough for everyone and that her worst enemy was really inside herself. She also asked “If you couldn’t fail what would you do?” This spoke to me very personally and, in conjunction with “Do what you LOVE everyday”, new answers came to me from a deep place inside myself; answers that up until now were completely buried by fears, so much so that I was completely unaware of this desire that is so strong. What I realize now is that this question “what do I love to do” is fluid. It allows for the answers to grow and change along with me through my journey. See, I thought that once I answered it in 2009 that it was the end of the road... the question could almost be retired because it had yielded its answer. That question had brought me back to dance and that was that! In retrospect, this spiritual practice of connecting with this question on a daily basis helped me to develop and hone my skills of being open and receptive to the forever-changing answers coming from the depth of my spirit and heart.

Going back to school as a dancer at the age of 37 is a daunting task for my body that has not trained professionally in over a decade. I have had to make a decision to fill my schedule for the next few years of this degree with less actual dance classes and more theory courses in order to respect the arthritis in my knees and the severe laxity in my ankle joints. You see, this time around, being in a different place in my journey, more open perhaps, I was able to choose to honour my body. When I stopped dancing at the professional level at the age of 24, I shut down the door that connected me to my passion for dance. I thought I had failed so I ran away from everything related to dance. Until a few weeks ago I carried with me the failed dancer dream. Returning to dance and being faced with injuries and my aging body over the last year has allowed me to come full circle and make peace with my dancer. I no longer feel this heavy sense of failure. I now feel proud of my years of dancing and grateful for the joy it brings. So Melissa’s gift of questions has allowed me to face my life and make peace with it. It is only after making the decision to dance less that a new answer to the question was able to come through. These powerful words brought joy and healing and allowed for an opening and a release from unconscious stagnation toward a deep sense of freedom and hope for the rest of my life to unfold. I am blessed by this journeying through community in light and in darkness, enriched with hope and deeply connected to the sacred that thrives rightfully and graciously in all of us. I am also grateful for those precious moments throughout this past year of dancing, where my spirit filled with heart and everything else disappeared. It feels like years of knots were gracefully undoing themselves and offering in return space, acceptance, possibility and connectedness to myself and the rest of the world.

I now realize that these questions Melissa posed shook my cellular fabric and that they can and will continue to keep me truthful and connected to my spirit’s desires, no matter what I am doing. Melissa reminds us to do what we LOVE everyday and asks us to ask ourselves “If you could not fail what you would do?” These questions and reminders are such gifts and I encourage all of us (including myself) to keep asking these questions with a sense of surrender and openness as we wait for the universe to weave its answers into our consciousness.

Melissa, Thank you for engaging the world around you with spiritual truths that transcend the illusions we build around ourselves. Your ability to express and engage with deep sincerity has a profound effect on the lives that you touch, including my own. I am filled with gratitude for your words, your intentions and the impact they have. I am also committed to pay it forward as I, in turn, share my experience with the world around me.

Love and Light
Genevieve

MLE Calendar Submission 2011

2011-08-21T18:21:00.000-04:00

10 Best Pictures of Melissa Etheridge "Fearless Love" Tour 2011
Photographs by Genevieve Nolet

Window

2011-08-11T00:04:00.000-04:00

There is this small tainted window that opens (in it's own time) and through it, a nightfall of possibilties emerges gentle like snow on the softening carapace of my almost broken heart~

ART by Genevieve Nolet Copyrights 2011

2011-05-19T15:21:00.020-04:00

All pieces are $150 with a few exceptions that are $200. If you wanted them framed then add another $25 on top which I can do for you.

If you are not able or interested in purchasing art which is completly absolutly fine... could you still kindly pass this link along to anyone who you think may be interested.

This is a little bit of a fundraiser for my foot recovery. The sales from artworks will allow me to get physiotherapy over the summer and recover faster from my ankle injury and will also allow for me to get my first round of my art/poetry book printed and ready for distribution in late summer early fall.

All pieces are Originals

Conte and Ink on paper

11 by 14 inches

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SOLD

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Pictures from Andrea de Keijzen from "York Dances- Ready to Spring"

2011-05-17T14:29:00.007-04:00

All photograph taken and copyrighted by Andrea de Keijzen

Cancer dates

2011-05-09T14:54:00.001-04:00

My friend Wray's 38 year-old sister in-law has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. She's writing a blog to document her experience and hopefully get it published in the future. Here is a link to her blog - give it a read. Of course, feel free to forward to anyone you think might be interested.

http://cancercamehome.wordpress.com/2011/04/27/cancer-dates/

8th colour of the rainbow: the remnants of a beautiful dance

2011-04-26T17:52:00.000-04:00

8th colour of the rainbow: the remnants of a beautiful dance

Seriously people I need you to read this... She describes so well her choreography and creation process. I feel, like her, that my term in choreography this year was very similar to hers. Painful at its best!

LOVE AND LIGHT
Genevieve

Bonne Fete Sarah!

2011-04-20T11:03:00.000-04:00

My dear Sarah who has been a great soul friend for years now is getting older! lol! She is coming back to Toronto in a month or so and I just can't wait to share late afternoon wine and cheese and stories with her! Sarah is the kind of friends that you know nothing can come in the way of. Seriously... we lived together, almost killed each other amidst many days of fun and heart to heart.... and we are better friends for it! She is the kind of soul that shines light where ever she is. Her smile on her lips and in her eyes pierces my spirit every time I see her. She is brilliant in her world interactions and intentions. I am proud to know my little Sarah Facini! She is a rock! Love to you my sweet-soon-to-be-neighbour! :) Genevieve

Grateful

2011-04-18T12:20:00.003-04:00

Life unravels unexpectedly with so much bravery. I am grateful to be alive! Friends like rain showers on my cheeks!

There are times

2011-04-17T19:59:00.004-04:00

There are times when everything feels strange and uncomfortable but those times are especially filled with magic, truth and vision that is yet to be seen. There are times when brave souls dare to reach hands-first into the abyss of nothingness and pull up from it with invisble strings skies of stardust and freedom. You are loved! Genevieve 2011

Chelsea and Meg playing in our backyard!

2011-04-12T12:00:00.004-04:00

My dancer friends

2011-04-12T11:55:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday Julie P!

2011-04-10T20:30:00.003-04:00

Today is my sweet friend Julie's birthday! When I first saw her she had blue hair. She is one of those people that you see in crossing and you tell yourself this stranger will be my friend someday. Some kind of psychic heart connection predicting itself rightfully. And I am so grateful for her. She is laugher and light. She is HILARIOUS too! If I knew her when I was 5 years old we would have many blanket castles and in our rain boots and flashlights we would have taken over the sewers in our black clothing and goggles, as woman nija fighters! That was many years ago... Now she is still full of tatoos and body piercing, full of light and luaghter and is carrying child! Oh how lucky this child will be! I miss her very much! I will see her soon I am sure (espacially that it is patio, bbq and wine season). I wish you star filled birthday wishes Heartfelt tender cakes with really really bright candles like your spirit! I love you Jooolie! Genevieve

Melissa Etheridge and Serena Ryder Fearless Love Tour Canadian leg 2011_4

2011-04-10T13:52:00.003-04:00

Melissa Etheridge and Serena Ryder Fearless Love Tour Canadian leg 2011_3

2011-04-10T13:38:00.002-04:00

Melissa Etheridge and Serena Ryder Fearless Love Tour Canadian leg 2011_2

2011-04-10T13:30:00.001-04:00

Melissa Etheridge and Serena Ryder Fearless Love Tour Canadian leg 2011

2011-04-10T13:11:00.004-04:00

Journeying in Community – a Dance Experience

2011-04-07T12:03:00.013-04:00

About 6 weeks ago I wrote “The impact of our conversation continues to change me daily. I am more connected, I feel part of a community, I am figuring out how to pick up exercises faster, I know myself better and I am negotiating between my instinct to disappear and this newfound acknowledgement that it is ok for me to be here and take space.” It is from this place that this reflection begins as I reflect on my journey through the last 3 months as a new student in the BFA Honours in Dance at York University.

My experience in the classroom has been deeply rooted in the spiritual, emotional and visceral sphere. It has fuelled, inspired and facilitated my learning process and growth as a dancer and most importantly as a human being. The movement experiences in the classroom through the work of David Earle extended into my life, into my creative journey and into my relationship to self, to my peers and to the rest of the world. I faced many challenges this term between injuries, the intensity of returning to school and dancing again after many years of being away, the discomfort in being vulnerable in my creative process and the re-opening of very old wounds that I thought were healed and renewed with new skin. I believe that what has allowed for me to journey forward through this term was the intentions of this course, the support of my peers and faculty and my own intentions to be honest in recognizing and sharing my own story as it wrote itself. As I engaged with the development of movement principles, personal artistry and expression through David Earle’s technique, I became quite surprised at how vulnerable these classes made me feel. Actually, more specifically how uncomfortable I felt when I found myself in this vulnerable, exposed and affected place my experience through movement lead me to feel. This discomfort led me to spend time slowing down, time allowing for the conscious connection to myself in order to breathe through the discomfort of vulnerability and anxiety.

In the Dark

I stand still -In the middle -In the dark -The spaces around me idle -The anxiety no longer scares me -But it spreads its oppression -In the dark -It infiltrates my lungs in an attempt to suffocate -I stand still -I breathe through -There are pockets of freedom -Budding in the dark -My entire day -Halted -In the dark -Hovering -I am still here -Amidst the blurry lines -The out of touch -The hazy eyes -I am still here -Suspended -In the middle -In the dark -I breathe deeply -I fold within -I hold with tenderness -I meet you in the dark.

I once spoke about my fear of taking space, which really meant that I was afraid to truly be seen in dance as I am with my beauty and my ugliness, my light and my darkness. I began to be very conscious of when I felt like hiding. I noticed my automatic response to want to disconnect from my body and my breath. Instead I spent time grounding myself and negotiating the stress response that tried to take over. I was very conscious of my fear to feel vulnerable and exposed but also tried to connect with this sense of self-love and self-acceptance in order to be in the telling of my story through movements from a place of connection, self-awareness, without judgement and with a real sense of tenderness from the people all around me and within my self.

I often came into class and made a conscious effort to look around at people’s faces, eyes and connect with their energy as I tried to breathe as much as I was capable of in that moment. I had intentions of being honest and of connecting with the group while I allowed the movement practice to shift through my own body. I was often surprised at who appeared throughout the term, this Genevieve who was brave, tender, strong, connected and honest. I began to trust that I had something worth sharing. It is this trust I had glimpses of that allowed me to settle into my own body, into the room and into this sense of connection to my peers that allowed me to feel comfortable in my own body. After talking to many of classmates, I also realized that everyone had faced or was facing a struggle with picking up exercises faster. This came to me as a surprise. I never thought that so many dancers were faced with this issue. While talking to people about it, they offered many of their insights on how they personally dealt with this struggle, and offered many useful ways in which I could begin to work with my frustration of being a slow learner. I did discover that I am visual and that looking at feet and transitions between movements was much more helpful to me than anything else. I am still working with this aspect of my learning but no longer feel overwhelmed and ashamed by my limitations.

Often, after class, I had flashes of critical self-evaluation that would shake my confidence where I judged my performance to the point of taking away all those great insights and moments of strengths that I felt during class. Once again I would enter self-dialogue, or reach out to another dancer and share my experience in self-judgment. Their feedback was grounding and filled with hope that reconnected me to why I am here (dancing) in the first place.

Trying

In the obscurity -you could find me -trying to imitate the sound -of what my voice would sound like -if it only learned to speak.

I realized halfway through the term that my fear of not being good enough was creating unnecessary anxiety that was NOT helping my learning process, and so I began to work on noticing my fear around it and started spending some time dismantling my inner dialogue in order to decrease the impact fear had on me. I reminded myself that I was in this class to learn and that perfection or the attempt to reach it is futile. Making mistakes is what allows us to know ourselves better and to become better artists. Isn’t it? It was astounding to me that I would come to these realizations once again after so many years and at my age. Perfectionism was somewhat of a theme for me this term in all my courses. Though I have investigated and worked with my perfectionism for years and have gotten much better at letting go, the fact that I found myself returning to school in Fine Arts after many years of running away from my own artist brought me back to a place where I used to be often, which is a vulnerable, exposed and unsure of myself place that plagued me more than I would like. I was actually surprised to see that my perfectionism was still very present. I thought I had worked through it. So to find myself here again was humbling. Yet for the very first time in all my years of learning and being in the arts in one way or another I did get glimpses of this feeling that it was ok for me to take space to learn and make mistakes. It made me feel young and vulnerable but at the same time it was like years of knots gracefully undid themselves and offered in return space, acceptance, connectedness to myself and the rest of the world. It would have been so easy for me to go on in my life and let go of my artist (dance, acting, visual arts and poetry) and avoid these layers of discomfort but I know better than to negate who I truly am. It is easier not to but I choose to. My personal journey through these very personal layers added to my sense of vulnerability but I feel that it offered me so much insight and allowed me to tap into my own sense of bravery. Brave gets easier with practice!

Flawlessness of True

There is a gentle rhythm in my cellular fabric now- It radiates through every layer- It begins to expect undeniable commitment from me -I let it because I have come to know that the cost is much more otherwise- I witness as she thrives rightfully- relentless -confident and clear There is a newfound willingness to be bare or even ridiculed -judged -misunderstood -Along the path towards ourselves the profound dichotomy of ego and heart forces us to trust in our absolute refusal to compromise the nucleus -It keeps us mindful -Courageous -There is the sweet sound of truth and for each time we let it rise -bones settle -our diaphragm pulls in enough oxygen -every breath we take sinks in a bit deeper -our spine realigns -The full rumbles of the heart tell us that we are exactly where we should be and that for each day that goes by we can begin to believe in who we are becoming -Everything falls off -The path clears -I look at the momentum of one molecular right -Its impact on the whole is significant -It leaves us intact -powerful -tender -interconnected -Courageous becomes easier with practice or perhaps the transformation it yields motivates and propels us deeper into the flawlessness of true.

I continued to dive into the process of being seen and through my own embodiment of David Earle’s work with willingness and apprehension. I noticed the connection between my choreography process which was painstaking most days and my experience of movements in technique class where I was acutely aware that my fear of intimacy blocked my process, my creativity and my beauty. I could see it, breathe into it and acknowledge that I was still loveable even with all my fears that prevented me at times to be as authentic as I can be.

My life’s work has been about the incessant removing of layers in order to embrace my “whole hearted” self, of removing the layers of fear, shame, guilt, perfectionism and the thick layer of this deep sense of not being enough. I have come a long way with this in most areas of my life except, as I find out now, in the areas I am most vulnerable (in love and in dance). I have been wondering if my fear of intimacy actually separates me from creating the art I am meant to create, or the art I really want to create, which is art that is authentic, moving, engaging, hopeful and healing. I have been asking myself that question for weeks now. It has gripped me out of sleep more than once. I realize that the process of asking the question has been almost enough to push me a step closer towards the discomfort of vulnerability and the joy and gratitude of being alive and connected to myself and the rest of the world.

The gift was in the question not in the answer.

Although I still resist the discomfort of vulnerability I no longer run in the opposite direction, far from it. No, now when I see its face peeking from under my left shoulder blade, I breathe into it, I let my heart sink into my chest, I let the veil that covers my eyes slip off gently like a silk scarf onto my feet and say to my fearful, shameful self: “There you are!” and lean into acceptance as if at the edge of a loveable cliff that can’t kill me. As described by my professor, David Earle’s technique and choreography is design to inspire dancers and audience with the hope for human potential that can be realized through community. I feel that this is exactly what this term has done for me. I share his view of hope that we all can fulfill our human potential and feel blessed to have travelled along this journey, deeper and with more courage than ever.

There is so much tenderness in hope and this tenderness has saved my life, over and over. It continues to do so. I realize now that I had forgotten to take it with me into my art. To be tender with myself requires vulnerability, self acceptance and a connection to the knowing that I am enough in every way. This is the part that was missing in my creative process and in the classroom. To be tender to myself requires of me to truly believe and know with my cellular fabric that I am good enough. Instead of working with the removal of layers I just needed to change my focus and connect with this tenderness and then the rest fell off me like magic.

Enough- A wound heals -Despair lifts -The heart opens -There is less fear -Easiness -More truth- A wound heals and the space it creates -Leaves an opening I never thought I would be capable of -There is peacefulness -Rest -There is finally enough -There always was enough!

The term is now wrapping up. My journey has led me to feel deeply rooted in my sense of self and most importantly in my sense of community. I was brought to tears last week as we danced as a class in studio F by this incredible sense of togetherness. I am moved and humbled by the strength and the beauty this class emanates. 3 short months ago I felt fearful, alone, isolated and now I am empowered, inspired and strengthened by my classmates. I will miss them. I am grateful to have witness each and everyone radiate with truth and authentic beauty. I am also grateful for those precious moments throughout the term where my spirit filled with heart and everything else disappeared. David wrote “We all live in the memory of those moments in which a great wave of love held us aloft for an instant and all the hardships and slights of the past fall away like grains of sand. In those moments we have the confidence to recognize that everything teaches humility”, and humility filled my body over and over and still does.

David, in his Choreographic Biography, also said that “it is movement as communication that had kept me tirelessly challenged and perpetually rewarded”. The room where we share ourselves willingly through movements has become a place of connection, communication and tenderness. I feel seen, heard, accepted, included and fuelled by a community I thought was beyond reach.

Finally, I need to say that having David Earle with us a few weeks ago and reconnecting with his spirit that spills strong and tender beyond where the eyes can see was such a gift. His presence, words, images and conversation reminded me of who I am and why I am here, of who we are and why we are here! His presence reconnected me to why I dance in the first place and that there is nothing perfect (in a perfectionist way) about it, although perfect in its essence if I can only remember David’s words that “The purpose of the technique is to burn away those blockages so that the body can once again become clear; pure and open channel that it was born to be.” I am blessed by this journeying through community in life and death, in light and in darkness, enriched with hope and in deep connection to the sacred that thrives rightfully and graciously in all of us.

Love and Light

Always

Genevieve

YFile - 'Ready to Spring' dance creations fill the house

2011-04-04T21:24:00.001-04:00

YFile - 'Ready to Spring' dance creations fill the house

'Ready to Spring' dance creations fill the house York Dances' Ready to Spring featured 18 world premieres choreographed by third-year dance majors at York University. Acclaimed independent dance artist Julia Sasso served as artistic director for the show. The tightly wound production uncoiled in two different programs of original works on March 31 and April 1. All four shows sold out more than a week in advance.

90 Degrees South by choreographer Aria Evans

featured dancers Nikolaos Markakis, Monika Davis and Taylor Generall. Photograph by Andréa de KeijzerThe title and theme were chosen because they evoke the dynamic energy and the multiple forces that were ready to be unleashed by these talented young dancers who were responsible for all aspects of the creation, production and performance.

Three choreographers explored the animal inside with their new creations. Yvon Allard took inspiration from the ostrich in Head in the Sand. Nadege Blackhall’s Grappling with Dawn explored a congregation of unnamed creatures. 90 Degrees South by Aria Evans mimicked the movement of a beloved aquatic flightless bird.

The movement on stage gained inspiration from established patterns in the world around us in works by Tracy Day and Candice Irwin. Day’s Prime Numbers was an explosive male duet focusing on numeracy, and Irwin’s One Rotation explored life cycles with constantly evolving spatial patterning.

Five choreographers took the audience on journeys of self-discovery. Jill Eisener's Let's Pretend was a playful investigation of the childhood imagination and Irvin Chow’s Ma offered an exploration of "the space between". Part II by Jessica Houghton examined what is hidden within oneself and the intensely emotional journey one must take to find it. Funeral of a Kinder Spirit was a personal mythology by Chelsea Papps. Stephanie Papaioanno’s new solo offered a whirlwind journey of human experience and expression.

The Five People You Meet In Heaven, an original work by Kristen Ratzki performed by Madison Harview. Photograph by Andréa de Keijzer

Jennifer Campbell, Nadia Kurenyova and Geneviève Nolet tackled negativity in a myriad of forms. Campbell’s Stolen T.V.s focuses on deception and bad fortune. Kurenyova's Inescapable Reality dealt with elements of betrayal, dishonesty, insecurity and selfishness. And Nolet’s Under these Cloaks followed dancers on a dark personal journey accompanied only by their own innate sense of bravery.

Love and companionship inspired four dancers. Natasha Josselyn’s What's Lost in You explored the fear of losing oneself in someone else. Kiersten McMaster created a light-hearted new work titled Oversleep, based on the friendship between two sisters. Kristen Ratzki took inspiration from Mitch Albom's novel The Five People You Meet in Heaven for her work of the same name about the people who inspired her. Kristen Tschirhart’s We Said was a physical excursion into the minds of five individuals showing in the end, we are never alone.

Under these Cloaks

2011-04-03T14:57:00.004-04:00

This piece was inspired by my poem and art work "Under these Cloaks". "In exploring inner turmoil and our own darkness, can this seemingly long treacherous jounrey be life-giving as we remove the layers that separate us from ourselves and the rest of the world?" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APvrQSbst9s Enjoy Love and Light Genevieve

Melissa Etheridge with her band

2011-03-16T13:48:00.000-04:00

Here's another one!!!!
YouTube - Melissa Etheridge with her band

Melissa Ethridge Posing during "Come to my window"

2011-03-16T13:46:00.000-04:00

Just a quick moment during Come to my window!

YouTube - Melissa Ethridge Posing during "Come to my window"

Melissa Ethridge_Kitchener_2011_I want to come over snippet.MOV

2011-03-15T21:45:00.000-04:00

aND ANOTHER ONE!

Enjoy
Love and light
Genevieve
YouTube - MLE_2_Kitchener_2011 (1)_I want to come over snippet.MOV

Melissa Etheridge_Windsor_Feb_ 26_ 2011_let me in suspension_IWCO.MOV

2011-03-15T21:44:00.000-04:00

Enjoy....
Love and Light
Genevieve

YouTube - MLE_1_Windsor_Feb_ 26_ 2011_let me in suspension_IWCO.MOV

Melissa in Kitchener

2011-03-14T19:49:00.000-04:00

Soulful guitar moment with Melissa Etheridge IN kITCHENER...
Enjoy
Love and Light
Genevieve
YouTube - MLE 2 Kitchener 2011 2 Guitar play

Melissa Etheridge reminds us to love ourselves

2011-03-14T19:30:00.000-04:00

So Melissa Reminded us to love ourselves!
Enjoy
Love and light
Genevieve

YouTube - Melissa Etheridge reminds us to love ourselves

YouTube - Melissa Etheridge with Serena Ryder from the audience

2011-03-14T16:18:00.000-04:00

Well... i don't think Natalia and I could have been more blessed than this... private section concert for us and a few of our friends!!!! Seriously the best end of a Melissa or Serena show EVER!!!

YouTube - Melissa Etheridge with Serena Ryder from the audience

Love and light
Always
Genevieve

To Merge with the Impossible

2011-02-20T17:32:00.002-05:00

To merge with the impossible

In a panic, gasping for air, I wake up submerged in a bath of boiling adrenaline, folded into a lengthy twisted list of things-to-do. I try to find myself between the accumulating cortisol surge and this overachiever who feels lazy…
Tucked away under the backyard step, she peeks her head out but I miss it because my eyes can't see past the veil of lies I tell myself.

I sit here though, still and quiet and alarmed and long enough for that glorious sun to crackle on our fading summer freckles that offer, reluctantly, little pieces of broken flesh.

I reach behind me, under the step, grasping at the empty space that separates us. I remember that once before I slowed down this sympathetic response. I remember that there was enough time, enough space, enough love and enough of us to merge with the impossible.

I lean forward, almost willing; as I pull delicately on her little fingers interlocked with mine and step reluctantly with our bare feet into the snow. I witness our body equipped to move through
the day
AND
the dirt
that hide under this frozen blanket and so finally separate myself, at last, from this addiction to do more.

Genevieve

Little Boxes

2010-06-15T18:45:00.002-04:00

Our little box of "usuals"
stretches out
and out and out
and out
and out

reminding us
of who we are

(C)Geneviève Nolet

Full Bloom

2010-05-05T21:30:00.005-04:00

Every branch of this lilac tree
in full bloom
like hands
reaching
and reaching
and reaching
towards my heart

(C) Genevieve Nolet

My Little Buddha

2010-05-05T20:55:00.005-04:00

I don't remember the last time I sat in my kitchen
With music
Candles
And ate my dinner
Calmly
Quietly
Slowly
As I enjoyed every bite
Every sound
Every movement
And felt the space around the room caressing my flesh~

What a glorious date this is (even if I left the kitchen to write this)
Alone
Wholesome
And with myself

(C) Genevieve Nolet

Oh... Bureaucracy

2010-05-04T17:30:00.001-04:00

I have hit the Great Wall of China of red tape!

(C)Genevieve Nolet

Book Launch Invite

2010-05-02T13:01:00.002-04:00

Please join Genevieve in celebrating her debut poetry and art collection ~ official book launch, art display, and book signing. Drop by for a glass of wine, food and good company. Feel free to bring friends and family (children are welcome). Appetizers courtesy of Genevieve, full kitchen menu and bar also available to order from.

Please RSVP by May 15th.

19 Charlotte Street
Toronto, ON M5V 2H5
(416) 598-2882
www.charlotteroom.com
(King and Spadina)

Farewell my Glorious Leanne

2010-04-29T16:51:00.000-04:00

I had the honour to be Leanne’s massage therapist for a few months. We both shared a deep connection with the word “Glorious”. We had many laughs as we found ourselves using that word as often as possible. Glorious! Glorious! That is truly one of the greatest quality of her spirit which continues to radiate and take shape around this shadow of grief that wraps its way around my feet. I will forever be marked by her tender presence, resilience, courage, humour and acute clarity.

Farewell my Glorious Leanne. May your wings breathe free now where ever you are. Rest in peace~

My heart felt sympathy to Axel and Georgia and all of whom have been touched and affected by this loss.
Love and light!
always
Geneviève

http://blog.en.chatelaine.com/category/living-with-breast-cancer/

Good morning (She said)

2010-04-23T09:58:00.002-04:00

Oh Good Morning said my bleeding uterus
to the rest of this woman half folded onto herself,
making inaudible sounds of pain through each breath she could hardly commit to!

(C)Genevieve Nolet

Serena Ryder "Sweeping the Ashes" Oakville Ontario March 25th 2010

2010-04-05T11:57:00.003-04:00

Serena Ryder "Dark as the Black" (sound Only) Due to Camera Police! :)

2010-04-04T12:30:00.005-04:00

Serena Ryder ~ Oakville ~ March 25th 2010

2010-04-04T12:12:00.004-04:00

Serena Ryder

March 25th 2010

Oakville, Ontario

P.S. We promise that next show we will have these lines memorized!

"Gliddy glup gloopy nibby nabby noopy la la la lo lo

Sabba sibby sabba nooby abba nabba le le lo lo

Tooby ooby walla nooby abba nabba"

Making Faces at us! LOL~

My Grand-Mother's Daughter

2010-03-15T17:40:00.000-04:00

For the 1st time in 36 years
I forgive my grand-mother's daughter
and my mother's daughter.
I love you mom~
Myself too

(C)Genevieve Nolet

lovingly insignificant

2010-03-09T09:19:00.003-05:00

... may we remember that very little is in our control
and that what actually is in our control really matters!

I spent years, weeks, months and days (even recently) being a dedicated, committed participant in my journey toward self and freedom from self (ah… a conundrum!) with this developing belief that I am solely responsible for the unravelings in my life sweetly reinforced by my own sense of self-preservation and armed by the overachiever supreme that lies in my gut and controls my every limb ...

and I can say that (especially after my discussion with B about the impact the new age movement (if I may use that term) of stressing the importance of the powers of intentions and self-realization that most of us who choose some kind of spiritual journey (and I not speaking of religion here - no I’m not!) are often trapped by our egos' desire to own these very powers!

But realize this folks, the gift was to empower the wounded with a sense of dignity and proportionate responsibility, inject us with a shot of balance that would pull us out of the victim sphere and remind us that ultimately we have a part (a very important part) to play in the creation of our lives but most of all that the rest is not up to us and that we are merely an influence, a pebble in the water on a very vast ocean that is filled with unexpected weather changes, living creatures and many, many, many other boats!!!

So… my new mantra: “Because you are NOT responsible”
And my new morning meditative focus as my bones barely wake from sleep “Surrender”
Because let’s face it… I can spend my whole life walking in circles along my beloved spiral trying to make sense of every wave and every storm as if I somehow created (and all by myself) the entire universe I live in… But that is just crap! I am not that powerful and in reality I am lovingly insignificant!

My wish for all of us (yes this includes me too!) is for us to continue to have clear, clean, loving intentions for our world and ourselves and most of all to make lots of room for the act of surrendering to the forces bigger than ourselves!

May our ego retrieve to its natural size and make room for the real, blame-free magic that gifts our lives every moment of every day!

© Genevieve Nolet 2010

The string (Work in progress literally!)

2010-03-03T12:48:00.006-05:00

This string
binding

I tie the knot around it
as to gently cut off circulation
and embrace the pain
that returns to me
whole-heartedly

This string
Binding

That ties me to
projected pieces of history
rooted deep below the rivers
beneath the earth
that births me

That string
Binding

Invisible at first
and for many years
concealed in all those layers
now palpable
between heart and fingertips

That string
Binding

I tie a knot
I wrap it around my waist
Where I begin
to untangle the cluster
of painful attachments
disguised as love

...

(C)Genevieve Nolet

Journals

2010-03-03T11:51:00.002-05:00

So I have been creating one-of-a-kind journals...

Here are a few...

;)

Grey Light (in the Beaches)

2010-03-03T11:50:00.003-05:00

Stardust (Art)

2010-03-03T11:49:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I...

2010-03-03T11:48:00.001-05:00

Hanging

2010-03-03T11:47:00.000-05:00

Dearest

2010-03-03T11:45:00.000-05:00

Asking

2010-03-03T11:42:00.000-05:00

Weaving Seeds

2010-03-03T10:36:00.000-05:00

Traces of You

2010-03-03T10:35:00.000-05:00

My Lovely Disasters (Art)

2010-03-03T10:33:00.001-05:00

Delicate Trail

2010-03-03T10:31:00.000-05:00

Cave Diving

2010-03-03T10:30:00.000-05:00

I Want to: (Art)

2010-03-03T09:59:00.000-05:00

Where are you?

2010-03-03T09:05:00.000-05:00

The Dust Settles...

2010-03-03T09:00:00.000-05:00

Grey Light in the Beaches

2010-02-24T22:29:00.002-05:00

I packed my favourite bag full of all my favourite things…
Paper, books, songs, pens and pencils, a stick of cheese and water in my super cool bottle water bottle because it is earth-friendly
and I set out for an afternoon of unexpected creative travels

Caramel macchiato (YUM!!!!)

I visited an art store, a coffee shop, a book store…
Had a burger, walked and I did not even reach into my magical bag filled with all the things I love most… Instead I was a gentle traveller on those glorious Toronto streets full of slushy snow and grey light

But MAGIC found me (If magic had colour today it would have been yellow!)
There was this little girl in her bright pink snow pants
rolling down this perfect snowy hill by the library
(the kind of snow that sticks together without any effort at all…. The kind of snow that sticks to your wool mittens and hat…)

She was so HAPPY every time she came running back up that hill…
Well, she made ME so happy!
So much so that I had to remind myself that I had travelled all this way from the west end for a physiotherapy appointment for my very sore sprained ankle and NOT to roll down a perfect sticky snowy February hill!!!

But when I am all better and my ankle is healed, I will go back to that hill and roll in it! Even if I am 36 years old!
Because it is GLORIOUS no matter how old we are!
Don't you think so?

(C) Genevieve Nolet 2010

a Quote from The Blue Shoe

2010-02-22T20:51:00.001-05:00

" Go only as fast as the slowest part of you can go..."
~Annie Lamont

Good morning!

2010-02-21T12:42:00.002-05:00

Nope! Not so wakeable today~
Foot like lead
Head like marshmallow
Hands like wooden noodles
and thank the Goddess...
Heart plump with love
for you

(C) Genevieve Nolet 2010

To my Friend

2010-02-20T16:39:00.007-05:00

I wish for you to be less scared
I wish for you to embrace the tears that won't come
I wish for you to recognize the light in you
I wish for you to stop running
I wish for the sadness that bathes your cells
to spread gently outward with your breath not choked
I wish for the child inside your body
to be loved and nurtured
by you
I wish for the metals bars that surround your flesh
to release their grip at last
I wish for you to dive into the places that really scare you
I wish for you to face the demons that chain you
I wish for you to choose yourself
this time

I wish that I could take those steps, jump those leaps
and cradle your heart breaking for you
But instead
I set my intentions for you to recognize the brave, spirited light that you are
and let you fall into your own abyss
and travel the long weary roads that lead you further into your haunting forest

I am here with you
I see you
I love you
Most of all… I believe in you
And when you return
from those dark woods I know you wish for you to step into
I will celebrate your home coming
I wait for you at the edge of your dark
With a shimmering string of love that binds you
With hope, love and promise
May your bravery shine a path
a clearing
on this journey that is choosing you

©Genevieve Nolet 2010

My Dear

2010-02-19T17:43:00.002-05:00

The gentleness in your eyes is independent of your mood
It is a direct reflection of the kindness of your soul

(C)Genevieve Nolet 2010

Broken

2010-02-19T08:58:00.002-05:00

Inept and broken
My feet can’t dance
My sister sits somewhere in my throat
And in my own prison I scream for some water.
As the screeching sounds reverberate on the windowless walls of my metal box
I realize that I have been put in the hole and there are no guards - no water - no light.
I close my eyes and wonder how I even got here...
Did I just wake up in this place
Parched
Cracked
Without rhythm?

I wonder….

(C) Genevieve Nolet 2010

Finding our way Home

2010-02-18T10:25:00.002-05:00

The dust settles
The hero muted under her cape
Chocked
like I sometimes
like she who at times resists the ink that breaks open the dam

Truth floods the innocent heart
Our hearts

I forgive
I fear the words too
I understand

Resistance is futile
for we always (at least for people like us)
plunge into the red dark sticky waters of truth~
The kind of truth that incessantly hunts us down
without prejudice or ulterior motive

The dust settles
messy
dirty
honest
reliable

May we always find our way home...

(C) Genevieve Nolet 2010

I want to:

2010-02-18T10:22:00.003-05:00

Drink your tears clean
and wipe off the layers that try to hide you

Be brave when I am scared

Have a nap with the cat
Grace the cat!

Burn the nightmares that wake me up at night
and free their ashes on Toronto Island in the Spring

Grow wings like growing herbs on the kitchen window ledge

Find ways to embrace Canadian winters

Speak more
when I'm sad

(C)Genevieve Nolet 2010

Sometimes

2010-02-18T10:16:00.002-05:00

Sometimes
I wish I could work in my jammies all day...
Sometimes
I cry when I get up in the morning because the day seems to much to bear
Sometimes
I am strong and gentle all at once...
But not today~
Today I feel 5 years old
and I don't want to go to school
(I negotiated and wore sweat pants this morning... dress down casual Saturdays!)
Sometimes
I wish I could break the Rules...
like smoking inside my apartment and feel no shame

Today
my ankle hurts
and I fight the voices that tell me it is all my fault...
Why do we so eagerly take responsibility for what we have no control over
and often battle against owning what is truly ours?

(C) Genevieve Nolet 2010

Book For Sale

2010-02-03T11:30:00.008-05:00

To order your copy now please email at Healingspiral@rogers.com

$35.00

Book Launch in the Spring 2010

Book available now directly from author

"In this book, you are being given both heart-breaking and heart-healing visions. They arise from such a depth in Geneviève that they are universal: any of us can detect our own faint shimmers of resonance in the offerings of this work. Geneviève’s dedicated attention to bringing into light her own “pieces” invite us to consider our own, and she illumines the path to that possibility."
Brenda Peddigrew, PhD

These poems are about life ~ about truth ~ about the brave decisions one has to make in order to be truly alive. They invite us to dare to be beautiful, fragile and perfect as we liberate ourselves from the binding constraints we build around our hearts. They invite us to be tender in facing the dark nights of the soul and to trust the unsettling, profound transformations we face as our spirit speaks to the dreams of the heart, as the soul demands to dance into the light. They are the voice of the wise child finding her songs, the voice of truth that permeates the thick barriers of fear, the voice of the woman warrior who dares to come undone and willingly shed the layers that insist on keeping us separate when we are not. They are intimate portraits of the innermost journey of the spirit weaving towards freedom~ They speak of the truth that bid us to choose life.
(Geneviève Nolet)

A heavenly quote from David Whyte

2010-02-03T10:17:00.002-05:00

"The poet lives and writes at the frontier between deep internal experience and the revelations of the outer world. There is no going back for the poet once this frontier has been reached; a new territory is visible and what has been said cannot be unsaid. The discipline of poetry is in overhearing yourself say difficult truths from which it is impossible to retreat. Poetry is a break for freedom. In a sense all poems are good; all poems are an emblem of courage and the attempt to say the unsayable; but only a few are able to speak to something universal yet personal and distinct at the same time; to create a door through which others can walk into what previously seemed unobtainable realms, in the passage of a few short lines."

~David Whyte

Dance Audition

2010-01-25T07:37:00.003-05:00

May my heart remain open
May dance flow through me with strength, composure and gentleness
May the magic of movements expand in my chest with every breath
May the light of my spirit shine forth through cells, muscle fibers and findertips

What shall be
Will be~

I am here
Present
Alive
and Willing~

Hopeful~

Love and light
Geneviève Nolet

2009-10-22T22:48:00.003-04:00

"Life is not a matter of milestones, but of moments."
~Rose Kennedy

2009-10-22T22:46:00.002-04:00

"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone."

~Rose Kennedy

In Need of Vitamin D

2009-10-22T12:26:00.002-04:00

I walk around my apartment in circles encountering laundry to fold, a drawing to finish, dishes to put away, a pile of paper work to sort through, emails to return. I have not made my bed yet or started to set-up the massage room for my work day and I keep walking in circles with a slow apathetic, lethargic gait as if in search of my misplaced house-keys before I leave but without any adrenaline or concern that I lost anything at all…

I pick up a book on global warming and read a few lines then put it down and return to my circles. I keep passing the half accomplished tasks and nothing pulls at me beside the clock ticking toward 2:30 when I will need to be ready to become the healer, the helper, the massage therapist yet my hands feel so empty.

I write words down as if to nudge myself toward awareness or light and find between the lines empty space with no vision. There is not even darkness here in my search for light just profound nothingness that weighs me down towards a bottomless bottom. My birthday approaches and I wonder how I can be getting older so fast and be in such a state of disarray.

There is sadness in my breath. There used to be questions with promise of universal abundance, now only a blank heavy heart with very little direction and no inquiry. It is in this nothingness that the world is created day after day. I know that truth to be the essence of creation yet I wonder if there is a pocket in that forging nothingness where nothing is ever laboured from here and that maybe I am trapped in it without ovaries or uterus.

The day moves along and I fear the night (that always comes) where I toss and turn, wide- awake searching for sleep to stimulate dreams and to offer reprieve from this slow cruel descent. I wake in the morning more tired than the day before and I initiate my circling morning ramble.

This is a hard moment in my journey. But the word "journey" implies the travelling through a place, the experience of a process, the awareness of some kind of phenomenon. Where I am (I think), suspended, blindfolded, tided up and hanging frozen upside down in a feeble pocket tucked in a concealed passage inside nothingness is not anything I know of a journey. But I pray for clarity and vision and for courage to unveil this purposelessness. I will continue to breathe through this heavy, lethargic gait and witness (with the intention of no judgment) this profound nothingness that speaks empty and hold on to the ephemeral glimmers of hope that someday soon there will be again dancing in my steps and light in my eyes. I miss the world. I need some vitamin D!

Copyright Geneviève Nolet 2009

Losing Freedom

2009-10-21T12:29:00.000-04:00

Fireball

2009-09-25T22:08:00.004-04:00

and a trail of light
pulled our eyes into magnificence
just in time to witness our first incidence
of universe falling from sky
shining brighter than fireworks
fast burning into flame
before it suddenly disintegrated
back to atoms and space
leaving us both gasping
at the beauty of this ephemeral meteor
like magic
touching down and across
our own backyard

Better than butterscotch kisses

2009-09-07T17:19:00.001-04:00

"...I continue to thank the universe every day for giving me the opportunity to know and love and be known and loved by you. Your words and your spirit and your humanness inspire me every day!

I send you these words

With hugs that stretch from here to eternity

And kisses that soften life's roughest edges..."

N.N.

Melissa in Binghamton and Cohasset August 2009

2009-09-03T10:05:00.002-04:00

My 4 Favorite pictures!

Videos from Cohasset August 27th Melissa Etheridge

2009-08-27T13:57:00.000-04:00

Videos from Binghamton August 23rd Melissa Etheridge

2009-08-23T13:53:00.002-04:00

Music

2009-08-21T11:00:00.002-04:00

It is around 3:45 AM
sitting around a campfire as we try to warm up from our adventurous night time swim
Waiting for the sun to rise
We begin to discuss the importance of music in our lives and
All in agreement that life without it
would not be life at all!

I don't think flowers would grow without music

G. Nolet 2009

Compassionate Breaths

2009-08-06T13:32:00.002-04:00

May my ego that resonates in the deep cavernous swells
transcend to compassionate breaths
that heal the world

including my own

(C)Genevieve Nolet
August 2009

This hard road

2009-08-05T14:41:00.002-04:00

I wake in the morning and my thoughts are so clear and I go through the day and the layers add thick and by night time I am locked into this silence that pierces through your bone and annihilates mine and the soup of once clear thoughts churns and turns and bubbles inside my caves - the water rises and rises like sleep under eyelids – deep inside nostrils. I don’t understands what happens to me deep under water… now my thoughts are faster than ink and only a fraction gets recorded here. I just lost another thought… twice now and then it runs on somewhere past the garden. Do I lack the energy to do this piece of work or just too angry? But angry is the work isn’t it?

A bee flew by my coffee cup and fear of being stung spilled all over these pages…
Interesting!

I yearn for physical intimacy that is born of emotional connection – For weeks I wake from dreams that offer that closeness and I wonder when, in real life, I will stop being so guarded as to allow you in – most of the time I want to run away
But I don’t because I know now that I will just find myself here again through this wide section of my spiral until I can bare the traveling through it (again and again) soaking lessons into cellular fabric.

There is little to say about love when my heart is so shielded from it that all I see are reflections of demons past and future apocalypse. Anger is tiring – it protects without prejudice or discernment. It swallows whole light and dark into undigested morsels of deceit masked as truth.

What if I were to soften? Could I be bigger than self and allow your beauty to touch my raw flesh? How do I remember who you are when a pool of needles jabs me into a pulp in an eternal torturous dance of self-inflicted projections? I fear you. Mostly I fear myself. I no longer know the soft pink creamy centre of self-respect. I miss my sweet composure – my happy denominator.

May the light of my spirit burn through the rusty walls of this house
May I find the courage and strength to remove the masks that cover authenticity
May this hard foreign carapace soften me back into the light that is my birthright
May fear dissipate into trust
May resistance transform into willingness
May all the years of hurt lift my heart into forgiveness
May my journey unwind through the soft planes of glorious sunsets
May I find my way through intimacy with and without you

These are my conscious wishes now – through this thunderous storm of internal tears covered by rage

© Genevieve Nolet August 2009

Cave Diving

2009-07-31T09:05:00.003-04:00

My lips
shut tight
against my demonic urge to scatter and squander vile wickedness

There is no clear line
as to whether this foul torrent swells from here or there
No gold line
No thumbs up signalling us back to safety
Just murky water that light never penetrates
And a tank full of oxygen
that weighs me down
Stomach against dirt
Floating me to the bottom

I spot this shadow (a friend she says)
I feel its hand on my bare skin
And in this pitch black
my eyes can’t see
There is only midnight terror
that wakes me
gasping
panicked

© Genevieve Nolet July 2009